The photos above were randomly chosen from my phone gallery, it gives you a glimpse into my world.

Here is the graph of my last 30 years: I was born in Jakarta (age 0), then moved to L.A. (age 5), back to Jakarta (age 6), to New York (age 18), to Singapore (age 21), to London (age 27). Migrating has revealed to me that the ‘fixed point’ of identity is constantly orienting: the Self has to be contextualised by what is Other, and if you happen to be that Other, then you are defined by a world that sees you as a foreign subject. Sara Ahmed aptly uses the term orientation to describe the phenomenological ‘intimacy of bodies and their dwelling spaces’, and hence describes migration as a constant ‘process of disorientation and orientation.’ According to the fixed point of whiteness, I am a woman of color, while within the context of Indonesia, I am Chinese. However, in Singapore, I have the immense privilege of passing through the nation-state with a Chinese-looking face and a Chinese name. This constant process of disorientation, while unsettling, offers a perspective that deconstructs and reveals fragments of the center we are all orbiting in this community, society or nation—it lends an opportunity for greater consciousness.

I have never identified as an individual belonging to the centre of any social or political spaces. With some effort, I may pass into that space, only to return to the margin. My orbit is oriented around the hegemonic centre that has been fixed and for the most part feels unchanged and unchangeable. And yet, I must use my oppressor’s languages, walk their paths—or at least acknowledge it (even deviating requires a path to deviate from)—and conform to these allotted spaces in order to exist. bell hooks reminds us of another kernel of hope, that the margin is not “a site of deprivation”, but a “site of radical possibility, a space of resistance.” In this narrow corridor, what irreverent alternatives to the prevailing logic can we imagine? How can we reveal the hegemonic systems that subjugate us all, even those who seem to privilege from it? 

Hence, the snapshots above: I’m curious about how I can change the narrative around bodies that have historically stood in the shadows, in the margins. I want to subvert the gaze away from looking at my body, to looking from my body. The gaze and the eyes are particularly interesting for me as a Southeast Asian woman. It is the part of the body that marks us the most. I have known 2-3 fairly innocent white children pull at the corners of their eyes asking if that’s how everyone looks where I come from (sigh). “Oriental” eyes. Well, if you’re curious, I invite you to possess my body and see the world through my eyes, to be disoriented.

Each of the pieces we have chosen offers a portal to different fragments of this wide world, and to different orientations. They responded to our open call for contributions and were ultimately selected by our wonderful judges, Erin Guan and Jasmine Chiu. These pieces engaged us, gifted us with a new insight or reminded us of something we had forgotten. I’m incredibly honoured to platform their excellent work.

Love, light, hypersensitivity and the will of the devil,

Betty